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I fantasise about when I was a student in London, surrounded by a wonderful queer community. So, I begin my preparations to change everything. I realise that this is not the life I want. This is when I realise that I have not really been looking after myself, or thinking about what I want. Shortly afterwards I got signed off work with stress. I turn 30, and whilst I had no anxiety as this birthday approached, the year feels like a catalyst in which everything changes. I don’t have the time or the money to travel and see the world, instead it’s just the same small city. I am teaching and directing, and it feels very rewarding, and yet something is missing.
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I have a full time job, which I love, but isn’t always easy. My career in theatre has flourished here. Again working in theatre, and seeing my friends in my favourite Vauxhall bars and clubs.Īnother four years go by, and Bath is still home. I figured this would be a couple of years and I would be right back in London soon. I had gone from being a poor drama student to being a poor drama graduate. I have stories of working with legendary performance artist David Hoyle, dancing on the London Pride stage in Trafalgar Square, and even falling very deeply in love.įour years later though, degree and my relationship over, I found myself living back at home in Bath. And, after a while of searching, I did find those people! I had wonderful adventures as a poor student in London. A tribe of slightly alternative, artistic, geeky gay people (one of whom maybe would become my boyfriend). In London I imagined I might find my tribe. Growing up I’d felt like a misfit: too hairy to be a twink, too skinny to be a jock, too serious to be camp, too theatrical to be masculine. London felt like not only the right place to go in terms of the theatre scene, but also the place where I hoped to meet other gay people “like me”. I moved to London (the first time) at 21 to go to drama school. A few years ago I experienced the very strong feeling that I was not “living my best gay life”. However, I’ve still found myself unhappy. I lived in liberal cities, and generally felt safe to be true to myself in private or public spaces. I know that I’ve been lucky to grow up with a supportive family. In means the freedom to live the life you want, in the place you want, with the people you want. It means the freedom to love (and lust) with confidence. This maybe doesn’t conform to what a wider (straight) society considers to be ‘normal’. The freedom to be public in your expression of gender and sexuality. When I think of a “best gay life”, the first word that comes into my head is freedom. In introducing myself, I’ll also explain how I went from being John East to John Thomas. It serves as something of an introduction to myself, and the kind of things I’ll be covering in the future. You might have heard me on the BGL podcast last month, but this is my first post. Hello, my name is John Thomas, and I’m super excited to have a regular contributor to the Best Gay Life blog. Reading Time: 5 minutes My Best Gay Life?